Step into the Dark Side
“I often feel like life is pointless. That’s why I want to have a kid… who will eventually hate me or not talk to me.” —–My friend Y, Circa 2005
This quote is absolutely brilliant. These 2 sentences concisely capture those moments that we have sometimes. Even the most optimistic have these moments. They just hide it better than most. So this blog is dedicated to those silent moments we have to ourselves: moments that are unbearably dark; moments that are excruciatingly us; moments that are undeniably human.
I believe that for the majority of us lucky few with relatively un-traumatic family lives, the root of this dark matter rests on one simple question: what the hell is this all about anyway? I do not want to mislead you to think that I have the answer to the meaning of life. I don’t. But one fact is certain: knowing that we’re not the only ones to have these moments sure does make me feel better. Therefore, I can only offer some thoughts as a nexus to all of our collective dark moments. You are not alone.
Too often we ask questions to which there are no answers. Yet we don’t have the innate capacity to stop ourselves from asking them. We have intelligence. We have opposable thumbs. We dig rocks out of the ground and build towers that touch the sky. We forge metal cylinders and hurl ourselves underneath the ground and across the globe. It’s just that… someone forgot to tell us why we were doing all of this!
This begs the question: why do we need someone to tell us in the first place? Why are we waiting for some external being, some random grand poobah to tell us the purpose to our lives? We don’t. As I see it: we have about 80 years to live on this earth. We spend too much time pondering the origin of our soul and its final destination after we die. Perhaps we should focus on the 80 years that we have here. Without further evidence, I for one believe the only reason to be here is for the experience.
I turn 34 this coming week. I’m not yet half way through my allocated 80 years and I feel like I’ve experienced so much living by this philosophy. I’m blessed with extremely creative friends to help me fill in experiences. I’ve learned to be less fearful of my dark side.
So my friend Y is right. Life is kind of pointless. But having a kid is an experience, and having your kid hate you or not talk to you is also an experience. That is, perhaps, the only point.
